13 January 1923
Did I stare Death in the face?
Dream … the Lausanne Dream … Lausanne …
Did I dream Lausanne?
The corpses of the brothers Wellington will remain ingrained in my memory, I think. How hideous. Grotesque. Tragic. Is this what my poor Herbert still sees when he sleeps? When he wakes? When he stares off into space when I attempt to talk to him? Does he see dead bodies, contorted in terror, lying in the trenches? Or did he witness something else while he was out in those killing fields?
I wish he would speak to me. Just two moments of lucidity. I must keep looking for the cause of what possesses him..
I hear Dotty in the next cabin, mumbling in her sleep again. She seems so assured of her quest to Constantinople. I wish I felt more sure of my chemin ..
chemin de fer..
chemin de l'enfer …